Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
