so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
