i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
