real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
