You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
