The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
