ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
