Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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