Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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