She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
