After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
