Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
