Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
