I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize