Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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