i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
