Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
how does that bad decision feel?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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