I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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