that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
