i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
