Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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