She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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