he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
