you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
