i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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