Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
