I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
