**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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