I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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