I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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