Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
