Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
