i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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