i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
