check it out our google latitudes are spooning
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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