Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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