dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
