once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
