The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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