ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
