Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
