so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You are a genius and a whore.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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