the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
