I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
