Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize