Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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