I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
