i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
