And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
