it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
