I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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