hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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