I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
