dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
