you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
