She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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