My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
