Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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